Bringing Up Girls by Dr. James Dobson

I am very disappointed to have to say I was not overly impressed with this book.  I think very highly of Dr. Dobson, who wrote it, and it is still an interesting read.  However, the subtitle, which states "Practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of women" is not a good summary of the book.  It contains chapter after chapter of how the world is corrupt and pop culture is ruining our kids (especially girls) and the teen sex rate is high, as is drug use, puberty is happening earlier, bullying by girls is on the rise, as is sexual assault, and more and more girls are cutting.  It's very disturbing and very hard to read.  I found there is actually very little practical advice.

The advice that is included is largely for fathers.  I completely agree with Dobson that daddy's are so very important to little girls, as there have been studies proving girls that have good relationships with their dads are less likely to engage in early/pre-marital sexual activity, less likely to do drugs, more likely to make it through their teen years happy and unscathed.  It was all really great advice...for dads.  There is a whole chapter of short proverbs like "Her mom will show her how to bake chocolate chip cookies.  You show her how to dunk them in milk."  "Remember, if you yell at a boy not to play with a wall socket, he'll either stomp off or do it anyway.  A girl will cry."  "Never laugh at her dreams." "Never forget that supportive fathers produce daughters with high self-esteem."  There are many, many more, and a lot of those can easily pertain to moms too.

I loved how Dobson talked about when girls reach puberty and a lot of fathers will start to pull away physically because they're just not sure how to hug that new womanly body or are too scared they'll touch a girl in a way that makes them uncomfortable.  He says girls need continued hugs from their dad, they will notice if you suddenly stop.  He calls when dads lean away from hugs the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  It's incredibly hurtful to a girl going through major hormonal changes.

He also states an incredibly interesting fact about girls reaching puberty earlier than decades ago.  Again it's been proven that 'daddy's girls' physically mature later (which is a good thing).  In response to a question about why, he says, "We now know from recent findings that fathers emit chemical signals that inhibit menarche [the first period] and delay the onset of sexual maturity.  These emissions are called pheromones, which are hormones detected through the sense of smell, although neither girls nor their dads are aware of them.  When fathers are absent or uninvolved and the pheromones are not emitted, menarche occurs earlier.  Interesting, huh?  This is just one of the reasons I wrote earlier that girls need their dads as much as boys do.  They unwittingly "engineer" the timing of their daughters' maturation!"
Isn't that incredible?  That blows my mind!  And after reading that to my husband, he promptly went to the kids to, in his words, 'give them a good dose of his pheromones!'

As I stated, there is some really great advice, but the majority of the book is facts and studies.  In the last chapter he lists four components he believes are our primary tasks as parents: 1) Talk to your children about the Lord and His mercies continually [as Moses commanded in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 'These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframe of your houses and on your gates.']  2) Begin teaching your children to pray as early as possible.  3)If you want your children to be guided morally when they are beyond your reach and after they are grown, you should begin teaching favourite passages [of Scripture] to them when they are young.  4) "Pray without ceasing" for them (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

This is heartening because I work at doing all those things.  I'm no where near perfect but if Dobson is to be trusted, and I think so, I have a good start.  Now if I can just get my husband to read the book...